Wet window, hot cup of tea, warm blanket, free mind and a spare evening time compelled me to open my 14-year-old diary (I used to record on off and on basis). I wanted to see what type of girl I was some years ago.
ٰ I spent two hours reading it and saw myself growing in it little by little. It was a great experience that helped revive a lost connection. A connection that never rusted or vanished like all worldly connections…
I was always of view that my connection with God was weak. I was not close and so cannot be closer. The diary-writing however, proved me wrong.
All my conversations were with God. People write diaries saying, “dear diary” I wrote, “dear God”. I spoke with HIM about everything that depressed, distressed or excited me just like Friend. I pleaded to HIM about help and adored HIM like a lover everywhere. There were innocent ‘complains’, naive ‘incident sharing’ with the Lord. And the some most beautiful and worth-to-mention things were:
I ‘fought’with HIM and then said ‘sorry’ in the very next conversation. I wrote a small paragraph about my first novel idea and showed it to HIM. I also discussed my plot summary, characters, conflict, theme and ending of the story.
- I felt shattered and scattered and spoke with God
- I felt happy and excited and shared with HIM
- I made mistakes and said “Sorry” to God
- I made decisions and discussed with HIM
- I felt lonely and talked with HIM
- I felt sociable and talked with Lord
How beautiful was my lost connection. I always thought how I survived from severe depressions, failures and falls. Who held me, who kept my broken pieces together. The conversations were my answer!