“Love explained”

Love explained

Sometimes, it seems love is  made a paradox, deliberately. There are debates on it everywhere. Some call it difficult, some call it complex and some even call it a madness.

People fear and confuse it a lot.They drive theories on it, write love philosophies and even go to the extent of calling it a “complicated contradiction”.

It is surprising when they call it a ‘subtle’ emotion and do not expect ‘true love’ on the other hand. They agree that ‘lovers are one soul in two bodies’ still they mind and react to their lovers, making it an ego problem. They want and expect to be ‘loved’ but do not give it back. They make ‘love and heart smilies’ but do not say it out loud when required!

I had been in love (if that was love, actually) with a guy online. Many people, in fact all of them, laughed even my beloved ridiculed it, thinking I was stupid. For them, online love is not something serious though everyone agrees that when we are not face-to-face with someone, our ears and feelings are higher.

For instance, an emergency phone call about a dying person is way more painful than seeing them closing eye in front of you (think of people who live at distance). Because this way our emotions are more active. So, we feel more when call or talk to someone online. That is also  one of the reasons why people are closer to technology than real-world relationships.

Coming back to the topic, people still laugh out and mock me when hearing I experienced virtual intimacy. They often argue, “no, love online is a fake thing,” “huh, attachment and depression for a virtual relation is a delusion.” And then claim of their “true love” offline. They often argue I was crazy or a fool!

It happens a lot and I am used to it now. But I must explain my “love” definition here. For me, it is as simple as happiness, sadness, excitement is. We confuse it because we are never true to ourselves. We fake ourselves. We hide our real masks to people. Love is not a paradox. Neither it is a contradiction nor a complicated philosophy that none can understand.

What about keeping life and love simple. What about being true to yourself. What about knowing when you are ‘serious’ and when you are ‘just friends’ or just having a ‘crush’. Why making this subtle and the purest of all emotions a mystery. When in heart we all know what we are doing and how we are doing it.

Come on guys, face life, be true to yourselves. If you cannot be true online, you cannot be true offline. If you agree love exists, agree to all its forms too. If you seek for love, be ready for it too!


14 thoughts on ““Love explained”

  1. Whoever told you must either be very shallow minded or not of this century. Me and my husband were mostly dependent on technology for our romance to stay put. Had it not been for the nightly voice chats, numerous emails, web chats and video calls, we wouldnvt have come this far. We carried on this way for 2 years before we got married and as luck would have it, my husband has a job where he’s not home for 5-6 months every year. I rely solely on technology to convey my love to him and his to me. If our kind of love that is conveyed through wires, is not love, then I don’t know what you call love.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Great post Samana but love is seen differently by different people and people fall in love also in their own special ways using whatever means but falling head over heels in love. Love is the only reality and all others follow suit. 👌👌👌👌👌

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Good post. Explains love online…. 🙂

    ~ Kitaabon se daleelein doon ya khud ko saamnay rakhkhoon….. Wo mujh se pooch baitha hai, mohabbat kis ko kehtay hein….

    I think he was not in love with you. He was in love with himself.

    Love har aik ka naseeb nahin hota…
    And if its was for you (which it was – see it is still there, in the form of memories), well he did not deserve it…

    Love is ghost to most of us, because we have not lived it… Love is not done or made, it happens… Love is not shown, its worn and bred and valued. Love is not told or expressed, it is evident. If someone actually loves you, they will never say it.

    The definitions of love that we have had – round the corner – were meant and made from people, like those (who could not watch) who explained about an elephant in an anecdote. For some, it was a long tail only, for others it was trunk or big ears or ivory only.

    Love is not so much a subtle emotion. We wear it and say it and hear and feel it and smell it and taste it and sense it, so loud and explicit. Wanna see the amount of love in real, look into the eyes, see into the voice and think into the words. Wanna see the quantity of love online, see the amount of connection, quality of longing, degree of concern and power of observation.

    ‘True love’ is like an over-statement. Love has to be true. If it has to be stated as true, its probably less of love.

    I think, terms like “true love” and “khaalis makhan” were created because we humans are so polluted both in inner and outer worlds…. 🙂 … Since we do not mean what we say, the meanings of words is becoming fast changing, and we have to justify things to people because of the social entropy.

    In “online” scenarios, we are actually more real, as we are at our best. We show our inner face easily, as we think we are not visible, so we care less about some things which we think do not matter, and we care more about things that do matter in our view (with regard to conformity, etc). In the process, our sub-conscious takes over, and we don’t know it (that is why, the hate as well as hope is spread so easily through social media). But as our responses are recorded and can be re-read, analyzed and evaluated (not like real life, where there’s no memorization of this order), we are better assessed… 🙂 … (Unfortunately though) the superficiality of online relationships is very well-gauged from the fact that people are not interested in a relationship……they are interested into something else, in directions other than those of relationships.

    Technology is the way of life of modern time, and it will add more and more of machines to our life in future. While technology might have its own limitations, but the vast playing field that it has provided and the freedom that it has brought onto the mankind is beyond appreciation. In the end, its about us. Do we want technology to matter more than us, or do we want to use it as a tool, like others. Do we want to create and spread love using it, or we want to deceive ourselves with love-like things, and blame technology in the end….

    Virtual intimacy and active online emotions are real things. Most of us have experienced it, like any other reality. Amount of love and longing is probably more when we miss someone, and technology makes us miss them more and more…….that is why, an emergency phone call is more painful than seeing them close their eyes in front of us, and an awaited phone call (or message) makes us miss people more, than their awaited visits.

    “What We Are is the sum of everything we’ve ever said, done, felt…..” [by Rosario Dawson, in the film ‘Trance’]

    I think love is the sum total of our emotions, and is the bridge between us and everything else.


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