Two days were spent in confusion and conflict. I wanted to ask him but was unsure about his reaction. He was not ill-tempered but he had serious mood swings. It was not clear whether he would answer me straight away or drag my simple question to something unrelated or totally different. That was what I observed about him in twelve days.
One fine noon, I felt severe pain in my stomach and head. I was unable to eat anything as it was coming back, even a tiny drop of water wasn’t dissolving. I was hungry, yet full. And had constant dizziness for no reason. I was tired and exhausted too.
At last, I decided to call my mom. I could anticipate what had happened but wanted to ensure it. “Mom, I am feeling dizziness, pain, cramps, vomiting…” I uttered quickly as if mom was going to run away.”Dear, check with your doctor because it is not good to say anything without proof…but it seems you have a “Good news” for us” Mom said in a cheerful voice. “Really” i jumped, thinking about a tiny, delicate soul in my womb. “Yes darling, but do take a test..before getting over excited” Mom warned.
I ran to the nearby pharmacist’s and bought three different types of pregnancy checkers. I just wanted to ensure if I was expecting or not. It took me less than an hour to confirm the results and i danced at them. Yes, my results were positive!
“Oh God! I’m very happy” I extended my gratitude and decided to call Zakir who was still at office.
“No, I should tell him when he’s home…we shall celebrate together” I thought and put my cell back on the table.
It was probably the hugest and the largest blessing for me after my marriage which made me forget all sorrows, tensions or troubles. I was just so happy and couldn’t wait for “Him” to come and listen to me.
His did not follow any particular timings so i was not sure of his arrival. I started to wait for him from evening. I was looking at the clock time and again. Any sound resembling his motor was increasing my heart beat. Any passer by or the sound of the door bell was making me think that it was him.
Finally, the clock stuck 11 30. I was hopping over television channels aimlessly but to lie down meant to sleep and I did not want that.”Zakirrrrrr….Come back” I said by looking out of the window.
The night was dark. Dogs were barking,foxes howling near the lesser populated area of our city. There was hardly any sign of human existence and shops were shut, markets closed when Zakir came back home.
I was waiting for him eagerly to share what i felt.i expected him to be excited with me. And that news made me forget all the bad things happened in recent past to me. I was just dancing that day.
I made his favorite food, “biryani and shami kebab”.and dolled myself up and our room. I used the most romantic aroma to spray my room, brought fresh flowers to adorn our vase and threw red rose petals on the pure velvet bed sheet for the warm reception of my lover.
I heard the door bell at around 12. I was yawning so to look fresh, I rushed to the washroom and sprayed rose water on my face. I just wanted to impress him.
“Welcome home, honey” I greeted with opening my hands
“Hi”he answered in a low tone
His eyes were red and muscles of the mouth were hardened. “What happened to you?”I asked with great concern. Pause.
“What happened to you, honey” I repeated.
“Would you SHUT your mouth” he yelled furiously.”It’s not important to tell everything to you, just keep away from me” he ordered and kicked his shoe rack.