This was Aamir’s message.
How did he come to know about my marriage? Maybe from our mutual friends or Facebook comments.
“Thanks,” I replied, then received a call from him in return.
“So you are marrying?”
“So you do not love me anymore?”
“Does it make a difference? Why are you asking now?”
“I just wanted to know whether you loved me truly or not.”
“Listen, Aamir! I want to move on. We are only friends.”
“Yes, exactly, we were only friends after all. Best of luck, Mariyah!”
He had never been sarcastic toward me; today was probably the first and last day he would do so.
I got another message from him. “Though you’re marrying, be connected to me, too.”
How mysterious. He had no interest in me, yet he wanted a connection after my marriage.
“No, Aamir, it’s not possible. I want to be truly sincere to my husband.”
“Okay, your choice, but I will always wait for your message.”
Oh gosh! What the hell. This is exactly what his problem is—when I am around, he is over me, and when I am not, he is missing me. I want to move on, but how can I when he is acting like this?
(One thing I forgot to share with you: I am an overly sensitive person who is easily depressed. Small things affect me very easily. I let them rule. This was the reason for our move to the United Arab Emirates. After my mother’s funeral, I cried day and night. I was devastated and tried to commit suicide. After our move things settled down, but these days, my work, family, and friendships are all a mess!)
Life can be full of irony. I was getting married in a few months and I had developed the habit of crying again. Crying like hell, in fact, and I did not know why. I used to cry when I woke up, went to the washroom, came back from the washroom, made my breakfast, ate it, went to work, came home from work, and read comic books (literally). My boss named me “Cranky Kid”!
No one knew the cause of my tears. Everybody assumed it was for a different reason. Some people thought it was due to my stressful work routine. Others thought it was related to wedding pressure, and so on.
Whatever caused it, I felt like a total loser!
A funny thing happened amidst all this. The guy I would be marrying called me one day and, after some small talk, asked me to send him money. He was in need.
Oops, I forgot to introduce you to him. His name was J. Atif. He was a designer. We did not know much about him, as he was based in Sharjah. I was not very interested in him, so I did not try to make a pre-wedding connection. His call stunned me; I thought that maybe he was troubled and I agreed to help. He demanded 25,000 dirhams, which was a huge amount for me. I did not have more than 18,000 dirhams. He agreed to 18,000 riyals and thanked me. It was January 1, 2014, and on February 1, 2014, I got his call again.
“Mariyah! How are you doing?”
“Fine, how about you, Mr. Atif?”
“Perfect. Actually, I need your help again. Please deposit some money into my account, as I am broke these days. I will return it soon.”
“Okay, Mr. Atif. I will try my best.”
This time I was also out of money. My father wanted me to go with pride to my new home, so he was gathering a significant dowry for me. I had already deposited all my savings into his account. Now what to do for Atif?
Oh God! Save me. I did not know how to help him. How could I do so with only pennies in my pocket? I called him back. His mother answered the phone.
“How are you, Mariyah?”
“Do you want to talk to Atif? Are you sending money to him?”
“Please send more money to him, as we need to renovate our house for your wedding. The more you send, the more beautiful our house will look on your wedding.”
Oh my gosh. What was she saying? They wanted money for a renovation? From me? Am I a money machine? They would be expecting me to keep working after marriage, but I do not really enjoy working. Oh my God! My future will be to make money for them. What should I do?