I kept thinking along these lines and passed the most difficult night of my life by constantly dialing his numbers like a mad girl. But this was not the solution. I kept wasting my time by asking myself, “Why did he run away like that?”
In the morning I called one of his friends in Pakistan and begged him for help.
The guy was quite rude, but, responding to my pleas, said that he would deliver a message from me to Aamir. This took around 10 days, and those 10 days were like hell for me.
I was acting like a mad woman. I could not think of anything but Aamir.
Eventually he called me back, but he was in a rough mood. He would not tell me the reason he wanted to break up. He just said, “If you really want to be with me, be like a friend only.”
This was the most difficult thing for me to hear. I didn’t know how we could go back to being friends after we had reached the peak of a romantic relationship. At first my answer was no, but I was afraid that he would leave and never return, so I agreed to his condition. And it killed me. Pause.
Chapter 2: The Comeback
I knew I hadn’t made the right decision, but how could I let him go when he was my one and only friend cum lover cum healer cum guide and whatnot?
I remember that when Aamir came back I started trying to guess what his problem might be. Did our breakup happen because of some tension in his mind? Did his family not want us to remain in contact? Maybe his father stopped him from continuing with the relationship.
I decided, whatever the cause, I would never let him go. I would fight for him. I would go against all odds and be his true girl. One day I would win him back.
I do not know why I was so obsessed with him.
“Oh God! Whatever is bothering him, please clear his mind and return him to me.”
This was the most important prayer for me during those days. I was so afraid to think that our romantic relationship had ended because of me. If I had done something wrong, I would never repeat it. I promised to care about him even more so that he would return and accept me as his girl.
This consumed three years of my life. Aamir used to laugh at me and say, “Mariyah! Is there any other guy in the world but me in your life?”
My negative reply gave him satisfaction and happiness. I do not know why.
By now it was 2008. I was in the university, while he became a practicing lawyer.
During summers, my university offered special courses. I was bored at home, so I decided to sign up for one of them. Aamir heard about this and became interested in the class too.
Dubai has many attractions, but for Aamir, the primary attraction was me. He wanted to join me in attending the course, but he had no money, so he asked me to lend him some. Ultimately, he could not come due to visa complications.
During that time, my father married a woman so that we would have someone to look after us. She was a nice lady, but she showed a lot of concern about my marital status, which I did not like.
One day, she brought a proposal for me and I lost my temper. I started fighting with her and forbade her from interfering in my life.
I had to tell Aamir about it because we had been together for so many years. Our relationship went beyond a simple friendship; it might even have been love.
When talking to Aamir, I had become very careful about not upsetting him. I did not want him to feel bad and leave me, yet I knew I had to ask him about this issue. He told me that if I succeeded in the university paper, then he could think of me. I accepted his challenge, as thoughts of him consumed my life. I rejected not just one university guy for him, but a million more. I never dared look at any other guy (and Aamir and I hadn’t even met yet). It was like my life was totally consumed by him. I also rejected my second mother’s proposal by telling her straight away that I was interested in some lawyer. She told this to my aunts, and from my aunts the news spread. But I had no fear, as I was concerned with only one thing—the new challenge that Aamir had given to me. What if I secured marks to his liking and, as a result, he married me? Wow! Life’s so easy.
With the passage of time, we achieved new heights of trust in and frankness with each other. Now he was my only friend. There was a guy in my university who I heard had been loving me so ardently. He wished for my hand (as our mutual friend told me), and I didn’t know what to do. When this story reached Aamir, he said, “Just say you are engaged to me.” Wow…I could not believe him. He was totally involved in me. Oh gosh, I was so happy. At last I had gotten him back.
I ran to my friends and made up a story about Aamir and my engagement. They were so happy for me, but the other guy’s interest in me withered away.
This became a common practice. I kept turning down proposals, and if my family exerted pressure on me, I denied their requests without being disrespectful. Finally, they accepted my situation and demanded that Aamir ask for my hand properly.
Aamir said that he was still striving and working hard to make ends meet, so his plans to get married had been delayed. He gave me the freedom to marry someone else if I wanted to, but if I waited, he would definitely marry me. Now I had to choose between two things: marriage or Aamir.
What do you think I went for?
Yup…Aamir, of course.
I decided to not worry about my age and to marry the guy I actually liked. This decision gave me freedom to get even closer to him.
Time flew quickly, leaving a residue of memories behind. Now Aamir was making money like a machine. He was a practicing lawyer and also had connections with a multinational company as a legal advisor. In the beginning of 2010, I started working at a bank. However, at this point Aamir’s attitude toward me had changed again. He began playing with my feelings, making me his best friend one day and his lover the other. One day he planned to leave me forever, while on another day he wouldn’t leave me alone. I was quite confused.